Hey StatFucks, Let’s Play ‘Livan Vs. Harden’!
I’ve taken endless abuse from idiot faggot statfucks over the following:
1) I believe defense is very significant for a baseball team.
2) I believe baserunning is very significant for a baseball team.
3) I believe that leaky catchers really hurt a baseball team.
4) I believe, er, I know for a fact and have observed, the Cubs have played very well when Koyie Hill has been given a legitimate number of starts.
5) I believe the ‘Innings Pitches’ statistic is very important for a starting pitcher and therefore, an entire team’s rotation.
5) I believe Livan Hernandez has a knack for winning baseball games and has been one of the most valuable pitchers of the last 12 years or so. I don’t know how to look it up, but I bet if you went back to 1998 and moved forward, you wouldn’t find any starting pitcher with more innings pitches. Maybe one, I don’t know.
Name a 2008 starting pitcher who wasn’t under team draft control that won 13 games and earned $5 million or less. There might be one, but not many. I can tell you that Livan Hernandez did it.
Statfags say I'm worthless, even though I just keep winning games at bargain basement prices.
Statfags say I'm due to win loads of games once my babip evens out and, uh, you know, if I ever fucking play.
Name a starting pitcher that statfucks rave about who has never won 12 games in a single season. Name a starting pitcher who has only gone over 150 innings pitched in a season once. Rich Harden.
I want to be clear on this. I like Rich Harden and I want him to succeed. The statfags are so fucking hard up for this guy because of his strikeouts (wow!), his WHIP (ooh!), his peripherals (whatever the fuck those are in baseball – are they like the ‘intangibles’ statfags so despise?), and his really fast fastball. Wow.
2009 Rich Harden: 4-3, 54.2 IP, 5.27 ERA, Babip for Faggots .305
2009 Livan Hernandez: 5-1, 79.2 IP, 4.18 ERA, Babip for Faggots .312
Statfag: “But Rich Harden’s had a high babip so his luck will even out!”
Livan too.
2009 Rich Harden Salary: $7 Million
2009 Livan Hernandez Salary: $1 Million
Boy, I sure wouldn’t mind some more Livan Hernandez’s on my team.
I might do a ‘Harden Vs. Theriot’ soon also.
What’s the upshot? Statfags like to say that you can’t trust your eyes, a criticism of the fallibility in scouting. But the problem is, the statfags just have such awful eyes. They’re so horrible at evaluating talent and understanding how a team wins baseball games. They literally think the objective of a team is to win at stats, not baseball games. They’re just such unbelievably stupid fucking faggots.
Want to know why the Cubs have gotten off to a somewhat disappointing start? Just head on over to Another Lobotomized Cubs Blog. Two reasons: Paul Sullivan and Racism at Wrigley. Honestly. Just fold up the tent and go back to cow tipping. Go to a remote island, erect a statue of Sammy Sosa, and suck his dick every fucking day. Quit trashing other blogs and falsely accusing others of real world crimes. Start understanding that you faggots suck at baseball, suck at understanding baseball, and most likely would suck at sucking Sammy Sosa’s fucking dick if you stupid fucks were ever so inclined.
Stay thirsty, my friends. You’re the most uninteresting faggots in the world.
June 23, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Pay some $; get your stats: http://www.baseball-reference.com/play-index/psl_finder.cgi#n1=&as=result_pitcher&offset=0&sum=0&min_year_season=1998&max_year_season=2009&min_season=1&max_season=-1&min_age=0&max_age=99&lg_ID=lgAny&lgAL_team=tmAny&lgNL_team=tmAny&lgFL_team=tmAny&lgAA_team=tmAny&lgPL_team=tmAny&lgUA_team=tmAny&lgNA_team=tmAny&isActive=either&isHOF=either&throws=any&role=anyrole&games_started=60&games_relieved=80&qualifiersSeason=nomin&minIpValS=162&minDecValS=14&mingamesValS=40&qualifiersCareer=nomin&minIpValC=1000&minDecValC=100&mingamesValC=200&orderby=IPouts&layout=full&c1psl=&c1gtlt=gt&c1val=0&c2psl=&c2gtlt=gt&c2val=0&c3psl=&c3gtlt=gt&c3val=0&c4psl=&c4gtlt=gt&c4val=0&location=pob&locationMatch=is&pob=&pod=&pcanada=&pusa=
God, I hope that link works..
June 23, 2009 at 1:19 pm
Actually, that didn’t give me the results I wanted, this does, and you don’t have to pay a thing to get what you wanted: http://www.baseball-reference.com/play-index/psl_finder.cgi#n1=&as=result_pitcher&offset=0&sum=0&min_year_season=1998&max_year_season=2009&min_season=1&max_season=-1&min_age=0&max_age=99&lg_ID=lgAny&lgAL_team=tmAny&lgNL_team=tmAny&lgFL_team=tmAny&lgAA_team=tmAny&lgPL_team=tmAny&lgUA_team=tmAny&lgNA_team=tmAny&isActive=either&isHOF=either&throws=any&role=anyrole&games_started=60&games_relieved=80&qualifiersSeason=nomin&minIpValS=162&minDecValS=14&mingamesValS=40&qualifiersCareer=nomin&minIpValC=1000&minDecValC=100&mingamesValC=200&orderby=IPouts&layout=full&c1psl=&c1gtlt=gt&c1val=0&c2psl=&c2gtlt=gt&c2val=0&c3psl=&c3gtlt=gt&c3val=0&c4psl=&c4gtlt=gt&c4val=0&location=pob&locationMatch=is&pob=&pod=&pcanada=&pusa=
June 23, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Eh, fuck. Neither worked right… Mike, he does have the most IP.. I just can’t link to it apparently
June 23, 2009 at 1:57 pm
God, you’re a fucking idiot.
June 23, 2009 at 2:30 pm
I might be, Bill… but at the very least, I’m smarter than the writer of this site. It took me 5-10 minutes to find those stats… It’s just a shame I couldn’t link to it right.
June 23, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Oh, I wasn’t talking about you, Irish Yeti. I was talking about the writer of this site. He’s a fucking idiot.
June 23, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Well, if it isn’t my dear friend Sean, (aka Irish Yeti), the self-ascribed ‘Fat, Stupid Fucking Faggot’.
Nice links, putz. Despite your failure, I will sincerely thank you for at least attempting to provide evidence which proved my hunch to be correct. However, I wouldn’t be a good friend in kind if I didn’t confront you with reality. You’re not smarter than the writer of this site because you’re not smarter than anyone.
You see, I didn’t need to look up the IP numbers. Generally, I don’t need as many stats as you stupid fucking faggots who wouldn’t know the difference between a winning baseball team and a losing one any more than you’d know the difference between your cock breath one night and your cock breath a year later. You know, when you finally had enough savings for another hot moment at the El station.
Bill, this is the best you can do? … “God, you’re a fucking idiot.”?
God, you’re a fucking idiot. How creative. Bill, you’re a worthless fucking faggot.
I had been thinking lately… I have the statfags beaten so badly that none of you dolts even try and argue baseball with me anymore. I haven’t seen it in awhile. But along comes Bill the Shrill Imbecile.
I fucking LOVE the Livan Hernandez phenomenon. Dumbfuck Dan Fagborski of the Baseball Fag Factory projected Livan’s ERA rather well last year. But, he was WAY off on wins. Livan finished with 13, one less than Carlos Zambrano, 6 more than Fagborski predicted.
He’s a great fourth or fifth guy. Hell, this year he’s back to being a great third guy. Is he better than Zambrano? No. Is he better than Rich Harden if both are at peak performance? Absolutely not. However, does he give you innings and does he have a knack for winning games? Definitely. Does he give you some of the best dollar-for-dollar starter value in baseball? Absolutely.
Will statfags ever see the value in solid starter innings and a knack for winning? Never. Too fucking dumb.
Bill, you’re a stupid fucking Nazi. On the internet, you’ve learned what the most socially acceptable and unacceptable baseball arguments are. For leisure, and your need to throw hate at others, you decide to attack someone who hasn’t conformed to statfag bullshit… a complete stranger to you.
Do you have anything substantial or original to say? Of course not. You’re a fucking idiot. Look at your genetic heritage. It takes your mother 9 months to take a shit. She tried out to be a prostitute and no one would pay for it. Finally, she bought a sperm donation and ninth months later, you popped out of her ass along with her other waste… and your first taste of life was a fucking toilet bowl.
But there is hope for you. Irish Yeti’s available if you like fat, over-the-hill, tired ass queens. And to both of you,
Stay thirsty, my friends… you fucking faggots.
June 23, 2009 at 7:33 pm
“Bill, this is the best you can do? … “God, you’re a fucking idiot.”?
God, you’re a fucking idiot. How creative. Bill, you’re a worthless fucking faggot. ”
This site has to be a joke. No one is honestly this god damn dumb. Not even on the internets.
June 23, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Plenty of people are stupid on the internet–just look at the bleating sheep at ACB, who today are busy slagging the professional writers at the Trib for pointing out what a shitty year Soriano is having AND Ryne Sandberg for having the gall to point out that Sammy Sosa should never be enshrined in the Hall of Fame.
Bill, why don’t you go back over there and join them? You don’t want to miss out on the 2 minute hate, do ya?
Back to the subject at hand…Cub fans sure love these fucking crystal-armed pitchers who can’t work more than 5 innings at a time, don’t they? I hope the Cubs resign good ol’ Rich to a long-term deal, so in 3 years we can thrill to his attempts at being the closer for Joe Girardi’s 2014 Cubbies! YAY!
I guess I’m not really a fan or a statfag, I’ve just been around long enough to know that the Cubs will never win shit and will always find a manager or a GM worse than the last one.
June 23, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Xi Whang,
Don’t think I missed ‘cumgargling’. Had me in stitches. Still does really.
Fucking ACB. Sheep is the right word. I love how their white guilt / faux anti-racism moral outrage has become such a 360 for them that they’re now crucifying Ryne Sandberg in favor of Sammy Sosa. Fucking hilarious.
The best part of it is… Dr. King wanted people judged not by the color of their skin, but the content of their character. People in Chicago don’t treat DLee poorly. Not at all. Everyone I know in Chi-Town loves big Z. Chicago loves the Bulls of the ’90’s. The ‘85 Bears still rule that city and Walter Payton has been practically deified.
What ACB doesn’t understand because none of them are actually from Chicago… is how blue color the city is. Chi-Town really goes for the players with the hard working and humble attitude. It has nothing to do with skin color. Chicagoans have judged Soriano and Milton on the content of their characters… NOT the color of their skin. Now, whether their judgments are off base is for the individual to decide… but to cry racism is just fucking pathetic.
So, I wrote 360… because in their efforts to move away from racism… they’re all the way back around to judging these guys and situations according to skin color.
And Xi Whang… come on, man. The Cubs of this decade have been much better than they’ve been for a long time. You know it. They just won consecutive division titles for the first time in how long?
June 23, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Bill,
It’s goddamn. One word. Plus, most people who aren’t stupid fucking hicks… tend to refer to the internet. Singular, not plural. Perhaps the ‘internets’ are a bit too much for you. Time to head back to the country. Weren’t you cast in ‘Faggots of the Corn’?
The reason this site troubles you is… you have no sense of humor. I have a lot of fun writing it. Like the idiots at ACB and Insipio, you probably think all this is written in anger. I laugh the whole time I write here. My fans laugh with me… and laugh at what idiots people like you are.
Bill, I will give you credit for one thing. In the world of sink of swim, you did make it out of the toilet you were born into. The problem is… everyone keeps wanting to flush you down, right? Your mind is about as pleasant and fertile as a fucking sewer… so just go with the flow, okay?
Bill, one final thing. The sad truth is… there are people such as yourself who are indeed this god damn (sic) dumb.
You will now be yet another faithful reader of this site. You’ll read every word I write, hating yourself in envy. Stay thirsty, my faggot friend.
June 24, 2009 at 5:12 pm
It’s so nice to see you make 4 paragraphs of text from my 3 sentences. I never knew you liked me so much, fag.
June 24, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Bill, I never disappoint my fans.
I’ll make the clear distinction between you and I that I’ve made with every other half-wit antagonist who has passed through. You’ll read every word of this blog without fail. It’s obvious and true. To the contrary, if you had a blog, I wouldn’t read any of it. It would be boring and stupid. There’s the discrepancy in talent between you and I. It couldn’t be any more clear.
And for my gay fans out there, I don’t care if someone calls me a ‘fag’. Doesn’t get me worked up at all.
Bill, maybe you could be in the next BravoTV installment… The Housewives Of Buffalo Grove.
June 24, 2009 at 5:28 pm
So what? I will read every word of your blog because people like you need to be told to consider the influence you have.
June 24, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Damn Mike, you’re a real cunt when people give a face full of what you give everyone else here. And I highly doubt that’s what Bill said… or maybe so, I don’t know.
The point is you’re a cunt who can’t take criticism. I wouldn’t be surprised if you respond to this by changing what I said, calling me a fag, or just being the little self-conscious man that you are.
June 24, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Very cute, Alejandro. Really turned me on.
Now listen, you stupid fucking faggot. This is a baseball blog. I’ve been proven right over all other Cubs blogging statfags a vast majority of the time. I challenge anyone to refute my views on baseball anytime.
I’m less interested in anonymous rudeness… you know, stupid fucking faggots like yourself who should be bitch slapped because you’re a little fucking bitch. If you were in an MMA fight, you’d be one of those bitches who just lies down on your back with your feet up in the air.
No one has faced as much criticism as I have online. I have no problem with criticism… if someone’s not rude as fuck. I’m the only motherfucker online who doesn’t attack anyone who hasn’t attacked me first. Go through the history of this blog… try and find an exception to what I just wrote.
You wouldn’t dare call any stranger a ‘cunt’ in real life. But you’re a bigshot when anonymously online. To the contrary, if in real life you randomly approached me and called me a ‘cunt’, I most definitely would bitch slap you and call you the worthless fucking faggot that you are.
Let me make something very clear to you. This is the only Cubs blog in existence which features dissent. JBrokaw, Xi Whang, Luke, and myself don’t agree on a whole lot generally… but there’s no antagonism involved. ACB is for faggot conformists like you. If you don’t agree, you’re banned. Same with Insipio in what I gathered from my one visit… and from the multiple visits here from their little hate clones such as your gay ass self. WV23 subscribes to the same stupid shit ACB does. BCB is apparently Al’s World (never read it). Does anyone even read Goat Riders? The only Cubs blog I read is JBrokaw. He’s hardly writing about baseball anymore. Sometimes, I’ll see what cute attacks Wrigleyville is aiming at which journalists… when he could make the same arguments against himself.
The only time I ban anyone is if they’re boring. This site will never be boring. I won’t have dusty gray carpets like Bill around. I don’t care that much if people talk shit… I care if they do it well… as opposed to your typical, feminist PC style. This is not only the most informative Cubs blog, it’s also the most entertaining. This is clearly the class of the Cubs blogging world in both categories.
I like your spirit, Alejandro. It’s a shame you’re not very clever. (Since when is ’self-conscious’ a criticism?) God, I’m at the point where I’m hoping for Bozo’s return. At least he was fun. Alejandro, you’re stupid, boring, and angry. It’s a dreadful combination.
Apparently, I’m a real cunt “when people give a face full of what I give others.* Isn’t there a pronoun missing here? Alejandro, you’re just an irrelevant, wobbly little bitch.
June 24, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Oh, and as for your boyfriend Bill, he was responsible for the smiley face. Fuck if I’d even know how to produce one of those. Enough said.
June 24, 2009 at 7:39 pm
Damn dude, Bill was right. That really is too long to read. Apparently it doesn’t get take much to get you pissed.
June 24, 2009 at 7:59 pm
Alejandro, shut your faggot ass up before I get down on my news and suck the fuck out of you, you cute motherfucker.
guess I’m gay, oh well.
June 24, 2009 at 8:09 pm
It’s really telling when you base your whole argument on the length of someone’s post, that’s when you KNOW you’ve lost.
Notice.. Not one of these morons wants to talk about the subject of this post, NOT ONE! They aren’t here to talk about Livan Hernandez, they’re only here to start a RSF (retarded slapfight). That’s what they enjoy.
They can’t get enough of your entertainment, Mike. They just can’t get enough. They could be doing anything with their time that they spend TRYING to discredit you even when they KNOW that they can’t get enough of an actual intelligent guy, you know, actually being clever & funny.
June 24, 2009 at 8:09 pm
ps i like asking people to go thru all my history when, in reality, no one gives an absolute fuck who i am or what i write. that is why my traffic is so slow
kthx
June 24, 2009 at 8:23 pm
nevermind guise im gai lawl
June 24, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Awesome immitation job, really.. You should be proud of yourself.
I have never spelled GUESS right in my life. Oh yeah & I always think I’m funny, so I put “lawl” behind everything. Nope, I don’t bother with just plain ole “lol” or something like that, I gotta be “cool”, you know?
For gays (oops, there goes my spelling) who think they’re so smart & so much better than Mike, you don’t have the intelligence level of a gnat. I have a wall beside me that’s funnier than any of you pathetic, worthless, shameless, brainless & worst of all BORING excuses for fecal matter. Yeah, that’s right: If I were to call you pieces of shit, that’d be an insult to shit.
When any of you have something that’s actually intelligent or funny to say, I’ll acknowledge that you exist again. Until then, I will only respond to intelligent people who are worth my time. None of you are.
June 24, 2009 at 8:46 pm
(Laughing) … good impersonation, Guy. I especially like ‘get down on my news’.
(Laughing even more) … I like asking people to go through my history.
Dildo, when making an argument, it’s kinda a good idea to back it up with evidence. The subject is rudeness. I’ve never been rude to anyone online who wasn’t rude to me first. I challenge anyone to find evidence that proves the contrary. Look here, FagCB, or 1060… and you won’t find it. And fuck if I’m promoting FagCB.
My traffic is slow? Do you think I pretend this is fucking Google or something? If I wanted to be more popular, I could do it in two seconds. I could start writing about ZORP and WAR… how stupid fans are that think Theriot’s valuable… how stupid Cubs fans are in general even though I am one… write posts every fucking day and preview games and shit like that… etc. I don’t have time for that shit… and I’m far too interesting anyway.
Anyway, obviously you give a fuck about me because you’re here. You read every word of this blog like all your Nazi hate buddies at Insipio or FagCB. This blog has a devoted following whether you like it or not. Some of my fans I like… some I don’t. For example, I think you’re a worthless fucking faggot.
Your little quasi-ebonics is stupid. Your lack of capitalization and punctuation is stupid.
As with Alejandro, I don’t mind your spirit. Unfortunately, you’re simply a fucking idiot.
June 24, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Mike,
They just give you loads of reasons for why you should become more like them, don’t they?
For instance: They spell guess like this – “guise”.
Close enough, right? I mean, “guess” was one of those “championship” words on the spelling bee, if I remember correctly, wasn’t it?
Wasn’t it a nice touch to spell “gay” as “gai”. They’re so clever that they know how to make the word “gay” have more of a “gai” effect to it. It’s “gay” with a cock rammed shooting up the “a”.
June 24, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Thanks for having a dude’s back, Source. Good to see you.
You made me laugh with the line about not wanting to insult shit. God knows I’ve had more satisfying experiences on the toilet than dealing with half of these imbeciles.
It looks like you had the same observation I did as regards my buddy Bill. Boy, he’s sure setting the intelligentsia aflame.
Livan’s one of my favorite subjects. I just don’t understand how so many statheads think he’s the laughing stock of baseball. The guy has led all starting pitchers in innings since 19 fucking 98. Innings aren’t an accident. If a pitcher truly sucks, he won’t be getting a lot of innings. Will Lou keep a pitcher on the mound that long who sucks?
Livan keeps winning games despite stats that suggest he shouldn’t be. What bothers me about certain statheads is that they fancy themselves objective scientists. The correct scientific approach should be… “how and why does he win despite the odds?” Instead, they retreat to the defeatist stathead haven, luck. Don’t know the answer? Just say ‘luck’. I guess we should start using the word ‘luck’ for ‘god’. Don’t know why we’re here or how we got here? Luck.
Science is about removing doubt. No stathead work is of any value unless it removes doubt.
Anyway, thanks also for being the one person to respond to the post. Plus, I should have included you in the list of people with whom I’ve disagreed at this site. The Bad News Cubs is certainly not a mutual agreement society like FagCB. As Xi Whang mentioned, they never disagree on anything. It’s pathetic. Or when someone does dissent, four others gang up and squash it immediately.
This blog’s open to any and all ideas… provided they’re not offered by a rude fucking faggot like Alejandro.
June 24, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Yeah, they’re really setting the bar, Source. ‘Gai’ is a true inspiration.
The part that cracks me up is it’s like they’re all the same person. Seriously – Bill, Alejandro, and ‘Gai’ may as well be the same moron.
I think this latest wave of herd hate comes from Insipio. I can’t imagine where else it’s coming from… unless I really am getting an increase in traffic. I doubt it. But I couldn’t give a fuck less about being popular. Never have cared. I write for my true fans.
June 24, 2009 at 9:14 pm
oh wait I have no fans, fuck. Oh well, back to dick sucking!
June 24, 2009 at 9:16 pm
Damn i like dick in my mouth. Oh well
June 24, 2009 at 11:14 pm
Side note: right on cue, Harden goes out tonight and can’t make it out of the 6th. Nice.
Oh, and DOODZ? Guise is just retarded internet slang for “guys.” You see, spelling shit incorrectly is now ‘kewl’…and these people get to vote!
Some dumbfuck from Deadspin or 4chan or some other haven for asshats obviously waltzed in here to troll for “Lawlz”. I hope it goes and “an heros” somewhere.
June 25, 2009 at 9:55 am
I actually find the impersonator kind of amusing. If he doesn’t get too boring, he’s welcome here.
I don’t mind the reminders that I have no fans and like dick in my mouth. I find it pretty funny.
June 25, 2009 at 10:51 am
“I’m the only motherfucker online who doesn’t attack anyone who hasn’t attacked me first. Go through the history of this blog… try and find an exception to what I just wrote.”
Are you sure about that?
And do you have a different line besides “It takes your mother 9 months to shit”?
I do like how you explained the joke twice in about a 10 day span. If this site is one that everyone reads, then they wouldn’t need to have that joke explained.
Also….
June 25, 2009 at 11:06 am
“Not one of these morons wants to talk about the subject of this post”
Because judging the merits of a pitcher based on wins and innings pitched is too dumb to bother arguing even on the internets.
I’d rather make fun of the Internet Tough Guy who asks his readers out on dates at the batting cage when they point out that he’s a complete hooplehead.
June 25, 2009 at 11:09 am
“Generally, I don’t need as many stats as you stupid fucking faggots who wouldn’t know the difference between a winning baseball team and a losing one any more than you’d know the difference between your cock breath one night and your cock breath a year later.”
Now, Mike, I understand that gay men tend to be promiscuous (who of us wouldn’t want to be sluts, gay or straight, amiright?) However, I imagine there are gay men who can have a long term relationship. My question, for clarification purposes…
If Irish Yeti is indeed gay, as you suggest, how do you know he hasn’t sucked the same cock for the whole year? In that case, wouldn’t it mean that his “cock breath” would really be same; and, therefore, he wouldn’t really need to tell the difference between the two.
Please, if you will, clarify your analogy so I have a better idea of how to “know the difference between a winning baseball team and a losing one.”
Thank you.
June 25, 2009 at 11:30 am
Apparently I’m too stupid to post here
June 25, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Irish Yeti / Sean,
What, are you a fucking Bad News Cubs librarian? Have you developed a Dewey Decimal System, or in your case, a Faggot Decimal System?
And are you really this stupid? Don’t be such a fucking phony. Don’t act like you weren’t being rude with shit like, “We’re all marveling at your great Cubs insight.” You’re just such a fucking pussy. If you’re coming here to talk shit, then talk shit. But don’t act like you showed up with a fucking olive branch, you fucking bitch. God, your weakness is so offensive. No manhood whatsoever.
So, to answer your fucking question… you’re goddamn right I’ve never been rude to anyone who wasn’t rude to me first… your faggot ass included. God are you a phony coward. Find some real fucking evidence if you’re going to use any. For this subject, you won’t find any.
June 25, 2009 at 6:35 pm
RV,
Are you this fucking stupid? Jesus, I have to spell out everything in such a rudimentary fashion for you idiots:
The subject of this post is NOT, “The Best Stats for Starters are IP and Wins”.
What you statfucks need to learn is that these two stats aren’t unimportant either. They’re a part of the conversation, a big part. Any rotation is bolstered by reliable starters who get you 180 or more innings, from Johan Santana down to the Jason Marquis’s, the Miguel Bautsita’s (he’s relieving now), the Javier Vazquez’s, etc. God knows they help your bullpen. You idiots never consider health and innings.
Next, if you show me two hypothetical pitchers side by side… and one has a lot more K’s and a better WHIP, but the other has far more wins… god knows I’ll take the latter. You’ll take the former… and my team will win more. The goal of a baseball team is to WIN not to fucking WHIP. You have your boyfriend for that you faggot.
This post is about Livan Hernandez and Rich Harden.
You statfucks go bananas when you watch Rich Harden. When that fastball pops and nails the outside corner, it’s a thing of beauty. When that change moves like crazy and fools the hitter, it’s awesome. You statheads think, “Wow, this guy is so exceptional.”
When you dumbfucks watch Livan, you think, “Oh my god, he has no velocity. He’s not fooling anyone. This guy’s awful.” You don’t notice when he wins the fucking game. You’re too busy thinking, “I can’t believe the offense didn’t light him up for 8 runs. He got lucky.
You statfucks are correct to think Rich Harden is a smart signing at $7 million or so. If you have him healthy for the playoffs, that’s a good weapon. However, the thought of signing Livan for $1 million is preposterous for you imbeciles. Rich Harden is 27 and has won 45 games. When Livan was 27, he had 65 wins. He also had about 65 losses too… but he played and gave innings.
Statfucks have always made fun of me for being a Livan fan… and Livan keeps winning. And if you need to get independent of wins/losses… Livan has 2 more quality starts than Harden this year. But Harden has exciting peripherals or something.
Once again, I like Rich Harden and want him to succeed. But, if you don’t think innings and wins are important, take a long look at Rich Harden.
And then there’s this:
“I’d rather make fun of the Internet Tough Guy who asks his readers out on dates at the batting cage when they point out that he’s a complete hooplehead.
Uy uy uy. Enough said.
June 25, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Yay! Bozos is back!
Bozos, I wish you would comment more. You know how I want a gay regular. And you’re actually funny when you’re not offended.
To answer your first question,
Yes, I love being a slut. All real men do. Cheers.
Now as for your second, of course I know queens with husbands. Some are in very stable, long term relationships. But, how does this relate to Irish Yeti? Isn’t he straight? Don’t you get it by now… I jolt idiotic straight guys by calling them fags. You know I have nothing against homosexuals. Plus, you and I both know you loved my line about a hot moment at the El Station. Ever had one, Bozos? Was it Belmont?
Also, the point I was making about Irish Pansy had nothing to do with sexual preference. His personality is simply undesirable so he has to pay for it. Having him pay for dick at an El station simply makes for a funnier joke. Bozos, don’t look for offense where there isn’t any. C’mon, be cool.
Stay thirsty, my friend.
June 25, 2009 at 11:31 pm
Mike,
I’m back to actually speak about Livan Hernandez & perhaps a flaw in your logic as it pertains to him.
Now, you & I both know that he’s a good pitcher, I’m not arguing that. He’s had successful seasons of play & there’s PLENTY of evidence to prove that he’s a fine pitcher.
So, you are probably wondering… How in the heck am I going to disagree with you?
Well.. Livan Heranndez is not the majority in his case. I know that you’ve said that you “don’t play for stats, you play to win games” & that’s the truth! However, it stands to reason that if you put up great numbers, the majority of the time, you’re going to do better than somebody who puts up LESS impressive numbers.
So.. If we take win/loss reocrd out of the equation & I showed you two pitcher’s ERA/WHIP, would you take the ones with lower ERA/WHIP or higher ERA/WHIP MOST of the time?
It would be illogical to take Livan Hernandez’ numbers ahead of better numbers, because most of the time, the guy with better numbers WILL actually win you more games. Not all the time, but, most of the time.
I also understand that you’re speaking from an “I already know the wins/losses” standpoint. I know that you would take the better stats if you didn’t know the win/loss records. In other words, I wouldn’t call you an idiot just because you don’t conform to my brand of thought.
Now, I want to just let this be a lesson to the likes of Irish Yeti, whoever that impersonator is, Bill, etc.. Just because Mike doesn’t conform to what you think, it doesn’t make him an idiot. He’s just saying that he likes Livan Hernandez, knowing how he picks up wins. Mike is coming from the “I already know what’s happened” standpoint, not a “if I have two pitcher’s ERA/WHIP infront of me, I’d take the one with higher in both & just hope that he has more wins” standpoint.
If you were to claim that Mike believes in these kinds of extremes, it does not hurt his argument, nor does it discredit his actual views.
June 26, 2009 at 6:35 am
mike = gay
June 26, 2009 at 6:04 pm
Very good, Danny. I’m gay. I’m a homosexual. I desire sex with men. Happy?
Honestly, what is it with you people?
Sorry, I like women. If I liked men, I’d be fine with it.
June 26, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Source,
Of course if the only information I had on two pitchers were ERA & WHIP, I’d pick the guy with the better numbers.
I was an advanced math student as a child. I’ve been mocked for stating so. But I say it to be clear on the fact that I don’t struggle with numbers. I’d love to find out if any faggot at FagCB was doing multi-variable calculus and linear algebra in high school. Doubt it. This is why I have the confidence I do to be critical of the gross misuse of numbers by a great many statheads. These morons think certain numbers tell the whole story.
Misuse of numbers and misunderstanding of the game can cause an idiot like FagDog of FagCB to conclude that 70 games of Milton Bradley are worth more than a full season of Adam Dunn.
“Duh, like, if you add up WAR and stuff… you can see like, more WAR for this guy… and like, the guy with the most WAR is like, the best player and stuff. I mean, I don’t know how any of these numbers work or anything, but I’m like, fairly sure the people who came up with it are like, way smarter than me and stuff, so I’m sure it’s right.”
This same moron said repeatedly that every single AAA shortstop is better than Ryan Theriot. This same moron said that Kosuke Fukudome is a bust and can never be successful in the major leagues.
What two players currently lead the Cubs in WAR? Bingo.
The fact that this idiot hasn’t retired from blogging is beyond me. Hilarious. And now he’s back to thinking Carlos Marmol should be sent packing. Such an idiot. He never learns how stupid he is. He never learns that he’s the world’s worst prognosticator. But, because he’s popular and conforms to stathead culture, he’s seen as an authority. He’s basically an authority on believing the world to be flat. His little faggot serfs enable it. And of course, as drug and alcohol addict, he’s one to attract enablers.
He can also tell you how Hoffpauir and Fox will never hit big league pitching. Idiot.
June 26, 2009 at 9:35 pm
You cracked me up with FagDog’s explanation of why you should use WAR.
But, anyone who thinks that just because you have bad WAR, you’re worse than all college shortstops, is a joke & doesn’t know anything about WAR.
Like I’ve said before, WAR isn’t exactly meant to tell the future, either. Why would he use it as some sort of predictor? It’s a TERRIBLE predictor.
On another note about Livan Hernandez. I did a little study & compared his 2008 season to Cueto’s of the Reds.. What I did was go back through each of their games & in games where Cueto held the opposing team to just 3 earned runs or less & got a no decision, I added a win to his record. When he did that & received a loss, I took a loss away & added a win. Combined, there were 12 of these instances.
For Livan.. I did the same things as I did for Cueto & I went through his games where he allowed 5 or more earned runs & checked to see if he earned wins or got no decisions in any of these games.. I then went through the process of taking the wins away & giving him a loss or either just giving him a loss if he got a no decision. I didn’t need to do this part for Cueto, because he had no such instances.
Here are the results:
Cueto: 21-9
Hernandez: 14-14
Now.. Cueto’s record BEFORE I made those adjustments was 9-14.. That is absolutely staggering.
However, Livan actually added a win to his record, he just countered that with adding a few extra losses to even up his record. So, what you say about Livan Hernandez seemingly having a knack to win holds up.
Now, for the kicker… According to WAR: Livan Hernandez had a -1.6 WAR in 2008. That’s right. According to WAR, he actually hurt his team(s).
What I’m getting at here is this: A stagfag like FagDog would instantly say that Livan is worthless, he’s terrible, he wouldn’t pitch good for a college team. Whereas, all WAR is REALLY trying to tell you is that Livan Hernandez is a high risk pitcher. His stats aren’t gonna be pretty. It’s not saying that he’s a terrible pitcher as someone like FagDog would have you believe.
On the other hand, Cueto’s WAR is not impressive, not at-all. I forget exactly what his WAR is, but it’s below 2. FagDog would probably not even give him credit for being a mediocre pitcher, much less a potential 20 game winner. Yet, they’ll bag on you for using RBI’s & cry about how it’s all about what the batters around them do. If you don’t give Cueto any credit for what he did last year, you have no right to use WAR.
June 26, 2009 at 11:05 pm
What’s up queers?
Say, I see my favorite guy, Milton Bradley got sent home today for being an asshole. Nice. As usual, the sodomites over at ACB are still busily contorting their tiny logic centers around this and have managed to formulate the excuse that Lou Piniella has now joined the anti-Milton witch-hunt crusade. Yep.
It sure took a while for Lou to get on board with the rest of the evil wicked racist Chicago Cubs empire, but he finally came around. First we had the media and the fans who for NO APPARENT REASON didn’t like Milton…no apparent reason but RACISM…I forgot.
Now, Lou has stuck the knife in because he didn’t send Marmol home too, even though he through a bitchfit today.
Did y’all know that Milton Bradley was ejected in his first Cubs game at Wrigley? It wasn’t because he’s a fucking total dick, nah, it’s because of racism…and the media…and the umps. See, it’s a big plot against Milton. He’s really a cool guy and everyone loves him, everyone except Steve Stone, Ryne Sandberg, everyone in San Diego, Cleveland, Los Angeles and all those KKK Nazi South African guys who buy all the bleacher tickets at Wrigley who also hounded those perfectly good ball players like Latroy Hawkins and Jacque Jones.
I’d personally like to kick every commenter at ACB right in the ass until my fucking tarsels all broke. Line those bitches up. What a bunch of fucking pussies.
And then there’s that one prick over there who hates “Cubs fans”…hey, fuck-knuckle, you ARE a Cubs fan! I bet the psychotherapy bills are staggering for these mutts.
If those pussies had one ball between ‘em, I wouldn’t be banned over there. But of course, they don’t.
Hey, assholes, how does that champagne taste–you know, the champagne your faggot team was dancing around with after their big bad division title clinch. Yeah, maybe they should’ve saved it for when they actually achieved something.
Yeah, I know, the Cubs would’ve won if the playoffs weren’t so gosh-darned expanded…or if it were a best of 12 series.
June 27, 2009 at 9:18 am
Hey Xi Whang,
I agree with most of what you’re saying except LaTroy Hawkins. He was signed to be a setup man. In 2004, he was indeed one of the best setup men in baseball. For his first month or two with us, when he was setting up, he didn’t let in a goddamn run. He was flawless.
Then, Borowski had nothing and went down. Dusty tried LaTroy in the closer role and he failed. However, Dusty just kept running him out there. It was stupid and LaTroy kept failing. At the time, I wrote, “would you rather have one of the top setup men in baseball and a lousy closer or… a group of lousy setup men and a lousy closer?” It made no sense.
I felt bad for LaTroy. He didn’t sign up to close. He certainly didn’t need to hear racist taunts for his performance. He was an awesome setup man before we ruined his confidence.
So, on this issue, you and I disagree. (This is the one Cubs blog where that’s legal.) In my view, LaTroy did his job and the last thing he needed was racism.
As for Milty, I’m going to be writing a post on him shortly. When he hits lefty, he’s WAY late on fastballs. I’ve seen some really hittable fastballs that he’s not getting around on. That’s cause for concern. The faggots at ACB, who have no scouting abilities among them, are sitting around waiting for a reversion to his mean, as if there isn’t a skill involved called hitting a baseball.
Oh, wait a second. It’s not a ‘mean’ reversion we’re waiting on, it’s those ‘mean’ Cubs fans. Them and Paul Sullivan.
Xi, I’ve been writing about their hatred of Cubs fans while they themselves are Cubs fans for eons. It’s the closest they get to rational… which would be to hate themselves for being such idiots.
Plus, you bring up another one of my favorite stathead issues… the playoffs. They’re all convinced “it’s a crap-shoot”, and that it’s the regular season that proves a superior baseball team. Billy Beane taught them this in Moneyball. I have a couple comments on the subject.
1. There are athletes and/or teams who are very consistent competitors, but who don’t have a killer instinct. They don’t have the stomach to squeeze the life out of someone. When facing very tough competition, they might fold. So, you can have a team that does well over a long season, but when really challenged, won’t be up for it. To statfucks, it’s called ‘bad luck’ or ‘bad timing’.
They presume all baseball players to have the same psyche… as if every player is made of the same mental hardware that Kirk Gibson and Jack Morris came equipped with. They just have various physical skill levels. It’s so stupid.
2. How fucking long do they want a playoffs series to be? I wouldn’t mind the first round being 7 games. However, do we need the other series to be any longer? What if a series was best of 15? Let’s say one team is ahead 6-1, needing 2 games to clinch. We’ve already watched these same two teams go at it for 7 games. Would it really be interesting to watch the climb to 8?
I think there’s a reason why baseball, basketball, and hockey do 7. It forces the leading team to earn it and gives the trailing team enough time for a comeback. I don’t know of anyone who complains about this other than statfucks at baseball blogs. Seriously.
June 27, 2009 at 2:53 pm
*Plus, you bring up another one of my favorite stathead issues… the playoffs. They’re all convinced “it’s a crap-shoot”, and that it’s the regular season that proves a superior baseball team.*
The only thing is, you get to play shitty teams all year long in the regular season. It’s easy to pad your record when you play the Pirates 19 times a fucking year.
I was banned at ACB for arguing that the Cubs would have lost to ANYONE last year in the playoffs simply because they choked. The pussies there were like “lucky teams like the Dodgers that luck into the playoffs should not be allowed to even play our beloved infallible division winning Cubbies” or “The LDS should be best-of-seven–that’s why we lost”–conveniently ignoring the fact that the Cubs got their asses kicked right the fuck in without even putting up a fucking struggle and showed no likelihood whatsoever of being able to win one consecutive game against Los Angeles, let alone four.
Everyone knows the fucking rules when they start the fucking season. Your team does not get a bye in the playoffs just because they won more games than anyone else. Should the Atlanta Braves have pissed and moaned in 2003 when the obviously lesser talented Cubs eliminated them? No–that’s why they play the fucking games.
As for LaTroy Hawkins–fine, you blame Dusty? You’re still RACIST! Dusty was the finest black manager to ever ride a team full of juicers into the World Series and blow it because he’s never known when to take a pitcher out of a game while damn near getting his son run over by runners at the plate.
June 27, 2009 at 3:55 pm
I think you got banned from ACB for not conforming to the Borg collective, period. The specific baseball issue could have been anything.
And yes, I’m obviously a racist because I judge players on their performance, not the color of their skin. I think Dusty’s the biggest idiot to ever get as far as he did as a manager. You’re dead on to point out his inability to pull the hook on a pitcher who’s seen enough. I think it was worse in 2002 to be honest, when Russ Ortiz had seen enough and Jason Schmidt was available. That game was for the biggest prize.
June 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm
mike = super gay
June 28, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Which one of those dick slurpers over there is MB21? Someone you have dealings with here? Because that guy is the worst.
June 28, 2009 at 3:12 pm
MB21 is Maddog, “Leader of College Kids”. ACB is basically his.
A long time ago it was mainly Maddog, Ryno (now known as Jame Gumb), and myself (“TheHawk”). Maddog had recruited me away from The Cub Reporter.
Ryno didn’t like me and was like a jealous lover about the whole thing. Then, because of the Iraq war, they banned me. I was against the war and in favor of catching Bin Laden. Furthermore, I thought and still do think George W. Bush is an imbecile. They both felt otherwise.
Another Cubs Blog was kind of like the rebellion against The Cub Reporter. You won’t believe this… but Maddog was so critical that ‘Cub Reporter’ was a world where you either agreed with them or got treated like shit.
Over the years, in an Orwellian ‘Animal Farm’ kind of way, ACB became the Cub Reporter. Maddog of course doesn’t see it that way… but, he never had much talent to begin with. He became far too strong a devotee of the sabermetric world and never came back. Now that his extreme stathead views have been proven erroneous, even by Bill James himself, he can’t make the adjustment.
He invited me back to their blog a couple years ago. I decided to let bygones be bygones and returned. But because I felt that defense in baseball is important, catchers are important, and that clutch hitting exists, I was endlessly attacked over there and got banned a second time.
As you said, he is the worst… because he’s the leader of all those dolts.
When I finally started my own blog, I wrote a big piece on how full of shit they are. It enraged Fagdog so badly that he left upwards of 80 hate comments here to the effect of “Mike sucks cock”. Even though he had banned me twice, he couldn’t stop coming over here and leaving hate. He couldn’t stop reading everything I wrote because somewhere in the recesses of his worthless fucking brain, he felt guilty and knew I was mistreated. He also knows I know baseball better than he… and that really kills him.
That’s a brief version of the history.
The worst part was an event that grew out his endless attacks against me… when I made an appeal to whatever sense of dignity he might have. Knowing that he’s married, I asked him one time and in one thread, “How would you feel if your wife saw this behavior?” I wanted him to see how embarrassing his behavior was by making him consider another perspective.
Because he’s a spoiled born-rich kid drug addict… filled with an addict’s paranoia, he entirely misinterpreted that as a threat of some sort. From that point onward, on a near daily basis, he started telling everyone that my words were a threat to contact his wife. It was so fucking absurd and stupid. Even in the thread where I made the comment, I had shot back reassuringly something like, “Oh, give me a fucking break. I’m not threatening you. I have no interest in anything like that… you’re paranoid.”
Let me be very clear on something:
I have no idea who his wife is.
I have never had any interest in contacting his wife and wouldn’t know how to.
I have never contacted his wife, period.
Having said that… after his having had raised this subject over 100 times online… and according to him… someone actually did contact his wife. God knows it wasn’t me, if it even happened at all.
I’ve called him out on this many times because he knows goddamn well that I did NOT contact his wife. He’s such a piece of shit to insinuate something like that. He’s never apologized for it.
At the time, some people actually had the presence of mind to confront him with, “Are you really sure it was TheHawk? If not, you really shouldn’t be saying this.” Then, he finally stopped bringing it up. Everyone at FagCB got spooked and didn’t bring me up for a long time, fearing me for something I didn’t do.
After a little while more, Ryno started coming to terms with the fact that this is the best Cubs blog, period. That’s why you’ll see him quoting me on a daily basis. You can imagine how much it irks Maddog.
Dylan is just this little bitch who says racist slurs about my having a Filipina girlfriend (yes, those warriors against racism PMoby and Fagdog completely ignore it) and tries to say I’m a “Used Car Salesman”, a position I’ve never held. He’s one of Maddog’s college kid Eunuchs. He’ll bring up the contacting wife thing too. He’s the ultimate online Nazi. He doesn’t even like baseball and has nothing useful to say. He just wants to attack anyone he can for any reason.
June 28, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Source,
Excellent work with Livan and Cueto. Excellent job in highlighting the limitations of WAR.
Thank you you for demonstrating how certain all encompassing stats can mislead a person in evaluating a player’s overall performance.
Livan just went 7 innings of 3 run ball against the Yanks on national TV. But thanks to Dan Fagborski of the Baseball Fag Factory, we know that somehow those innings were worthless… I guess.
Livan has the confidence to work out of jams. Livan can get hitters out with location and speed changes without overpowering anyone. Livan pitches a fuckload of innings at a great price. He keeps winning and staying in the big leagues when many statheads say he doesn’t belong. Idiots.
June 28, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Thanks for the backstory. I was only a poster at ACB for like, a day or so before I was banned. Mind you, emotions were running high with those queens because their pwecious pwecious Cubbies had just shit the bed in a very messy way. Oh, well, no loss–the more comments I read there makes me believe I’d have been banned just for being contrarian, anyway.
I used to read the Cub Reporter pretty religiously until they changed over to a new server and system, and it became unreadable.
At Bleed Cubbie Blue, I was banned for arguing with posters over whether the Cubs should have not played spray the bubbly after only winning the division for the 2nd year in a row, that they should stay motivated properly and show hunger by forgoing that shit…well, they didn’t and look what happened.
But Al Yellon is an idiot, the boys over at ACB are correct in that. In fact, the only reason I ever discovered ACB was by searching for the phrase “Al Yellon is an idiot” in Google.
Once upon a time, I thought that it would be fun to share comments around with others who followed the Cubs. God, how wrong I was. Each asshole who runs their own fiefdom, errrrr, site simply doesn’t want to hear any opposing viewpoints–from anyone. How fucking boring is that?
How sad an lame is your life when the only validation you get is from a bunch of mindless bobbleheaded parrots who simply type, over and over, ‘YES, MB21, YOU ARE RIGHT–THE ENTIRE WORLD IS SIMPLY A RACIST PLOT TO MAKE MILTON BRADLEY UPSET’?
Of course, in 1996, I thought the Internet would be chock full of intelligent people. Right? Only people of a certain intelligence would be able to figure out how to get online…again, how wrong I was.
Also, I have learned I simply have neither the time nor the desire to converse in any medium with any Cubs fan younger than me.
You can tell a young(er) Cubs fan because have an irrational hatred for Steve Stone, have no fond memories of Harry Caray, prefer Sosa over Sandberg, and never experienced year after year after year of losing baseball…they’re the type of dipshit who looks at this team and says “Hey, we’re only 3.5 out, we could get hot and win this thing”…anyone who’s been on this Earth more than 20 years knows a team destined to fail when they’ve seen one.
June 29, 2009 at 9:35 am
This is the only serious comment I will make here…
“No”, the fact that the internet is so accessible is precisely what makes it so awesome. It has truly evened the playing field. In the 90s, if we had gotten pissed off about The Cubs, what was out release? Maybe, if we felt like it, we could write a letter to one of the newspapers and mail it. But that would take days, and much of it would be irrelevant, due to the everyday nature of baseball.
The internet is a wonderful thing. The free dissemination of ideas, and an open discourse about those ideas is precisely what makes this internet so great.
Just my 2 cents.
June 29, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Aw, Bozos, you love me after all, and can’t stop visiting. How cute.
You can comment anytime… serious or otherwise. You’re always welcome even though you wrongly think I’m some kind of homophobic monster.
I have to say, what an interesting typo… wrongly including ‘out’ for ‘our’… the subject being a platform for expression.