For Dumbfuck Statheads, Theriot’s .400 OBP Clogs The Bases

These stat freaks are so abominably stupid. Let’s examine one of their great contradictions. Statheads think both of the following:

1. Dusty Baker is a complete idiot for thinking walks clog the bases. (On that point, they’re right.)

2. Ryan Theriot’s .400 obp is worthless because he has a low slugging percentage. Furthermore, he’s clearly the worst baseball player in the history of the major leagues.

So, what conclusion can we draw when we add these two together? For these stat fag imbeciles, Theriot’s fine obp, setting the table for DLee and Aramis, is horrible because it’s mostly made of singles and walks. The only conclusion to draw is that Theriot must be clogging the bases.

God, why don’t these people quit while they’re ahead? Theriot has now scored 27 runs on the year. That puts him squarely on pace for 100 on the season. God, what a horrible quality in a player.

Why don’t these people stick to what they’re good at, tipping cows, drinking Zima, and driving F-150’s? Since when do hicks fancy themselves scientists and statisticians? Unbelievable.

Though, I don’t know who’s worse, them or the the crowd at the Baseball Fag Factory. Those are the Michael Stipe-listening to indie film white guilt pansies who kiss women’s asses. You tell me what’s worse, fucking your cousin or a a malodorous girl with messy hair and funny glasses?

Tough call. At least the hicks have passion. I give them the edge.

The Michael Stipe listeners include those queens at firejoemorgan.com, the queens who write that bullshit ‘The Office’. I guarantee they’re the losers who ruin LA traffic. These morons come to a complete stop any time a highway curves or goes uphill. Yet, they think they’re going to outclass Joe Morgan on a baseball field. I’ll tell you what they’ll do… lease a BMW and drive like a faggot… and entertain other faggots like themselves with white bread humor. You don’t see Joe Morgan claiming to be an expert on Halsted.

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