Offensive Explosion Upon Soriano’s Return
Thank god the ZORP heads have urged us all that Soriano must lead off. The offense functions greatest with he at the top. And Ryan Theriot’s the worst player in the history of any sport ever!!!!
How do these idiots think this way? How’s it even possible?
The Cubs have gone from 7.36 runs per game to 4.5 since the return of the mighty Sori. Want to know one reason beyond Sori? Aramis Ramirez. He actually makes a difference in the offense. We tend to score a lot less when he’s out of the lineup. When Sori’s gone, we do better.
Meanwhile, Theriot’s obp still hovers around .390. Just horrible.
Why don’t these stathead losers just call it a day already? Not a single fucking one of them knew Colorado was headed anywhere. As a matter of fact, when I was praising the Cubs’ D last year, one predictable stathead dumbfuck quasi-maven named Gaius Marius argued the Cubs’d D actually wasn’t so good. He was more impressed with Colorado’s defense, yet mentioned this as evidence for the insignificance of defense. Colorado’s record wasn’t so great at the time. As a matter of fact of fact, their record wasn’t so hot until September. What a flaming imbecile. To entrench himself socially, he had this caveman buffoon out of the Geico commercials named Newman to attack all dissenters.
The statheads have taught us that defense doesn’t matter, the manager doesn’t matter, lineups don’t matter unless they involve Soriano, leadoff men don’t matter, any reliever can close… it goes on and on. I mean, just how fucking stupid are these people.
Those sorry fucking writers for ‘The Office’ should quit writing their shit, bland, white frat boy, lame ass humor for a tv show… kill their stupid site… and write ‘firethestatheads.com’. They’re probably the pussies around LA who drive 60 in the left hand lane and come to complete stops every time the highway turns or goes uphill. Ego of Mario Andretti… courage of a pussy. Sacha Baron Cohen Borat exposed all these modern wannabe humorists for the shit that they are. I can’t believe I live in a world where people think Will Ferrell, Jim Carrey, Arrested Development, and The Office are worth shit. To top it off, one of these show’s writers think they know how to win baseball games better than Joe Morgan.
I didn’t predict Colorado was going anywhere either… and it’s called humility. Foreign to the intellectually invalid nerds who think ZORP’s decide the standings. Loser queens.
What I do know is that you win with a leadoff man with an obp over .350. You have an ace, but after that… you want healthy arms. You have a closer who can handle the ninth. You have defense up the middle. This is a fucking baseball team. Always has been, always will. Yet, these dumbfucks think they’ve built a better mousetrap with WARP5.2. They think a baseball team is the latest fucking Microsoft Software upgrade.
The FireJoeMorgan queens, the ACB queens, the BTF queens… all these girls couldn’t hold court at any given public basketball court if their lives depended on it. They couldn’t hit an 85 mph slider to save their own lives. They couldn’t catch a routine fly off the bat of Ryan Theriot for a million dollars.
They’re complete and utter idiots. All their science is going to do is point them closer and closer to convention. Fuck… in today’s world, that will land one of these twats a fucking Emmy.
Tags: acb queens, alfonso soriano, Ryan Theriot, ZORP
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May 6, 2008 at 5:26 am
[...] Mike at BadNewsCubs points out, The Cubs scored 7.36 runs per game with Soriano out of the lineup. Since his return on May 1, they [...]
May 6, 2008 at 7:47 pm
you are a one trick pony. is this all you got?
May 6, 2008 at 9:55 pm
Johnny,
There’s a reason why you read every single word I write. This is the best Cubs blog. You will continue to read every word.
I can tell you you’re the biggest dumbfuck on the face of the earth. I can tell you you’re the sorriest excuse for a human being who has ever lived. And you know what? You’ll still read every single word without fail. Self-esteem much?
You can try and try to attack me and this doesn’t change. You’re the female Howard Stern listener who hates Stern, yet tunes in even more than his fans.
Is this all you got?