Greatest Interview In Sports History:
Off the fuckin’ hook.
It’s similar to this blog. Other blogs talk shit, but there’s no competition. Let’s establish the rules and regulations of who’s what in the Cubs blogosphere:
Bad News Cubs
Bottom Line.
You’re welcome.
If you look around the baseball media and blog worlds, everyone’s missing the real story with the Bradley trade. Especially the stupid fucking statfucks, who are bitching and moaning (what they do best) about Carlos Silva.
This deal has little to do with Carlos Silva. The media wants you to think, “Hey, maybe he’ll find that ol’ sinking fastball that he had in Minnesota!” Most likely not, unless Z is a Venezuelan osmosis master.
Everyone seems to have forgotten what happened at the Ricketts’ initial press conference:
At one point, Todd Ricketts answered a delicately worded question about dumping the $21 million owed to Milton Bradley, looking at Jim Hendry and saying, “I think Jim knows way better than to do that, though.”
That’s the story here. More than anything else, Jim Hendry was ordered not to pay another team for fielding Bradley. So, while Carlos Silva isn’t exciting any Cubs fans out there, the bigger story is that the Cubs gained financially in having another team field Bradley.
Caption-
Milton, “Goodbye, motherfucker. It’s sushi, coffee, and OBP time for me. Stay fat and stupid.” (WordPress’ image upload feature isn’t working properly. It won’t center and include a caption.)
It’s often said that “imitation is the highest form of flattery”. Well, we all know that Ryno at GGU quotes me on a daily basis. But recently, he went above and beyond. The motherfucker is now making films of my prose. Jesus, does the guy need me to send him an autographed fucking picture?
The good news is, because the words are mine, the mini films are funny as fuck:
I suggest watching all of them that include me.
After watching them, and you realize how fucking classic they are, ask yourself the following question. Is there any other blogger out there who can be quoted like this, and enjoyed time and time again? Of course not. Every Cubs blogger other than myself is a worthless, pussy ass faggot.
I’ve always said that I like Chickenshit Ryno’s sense of humor, his only redeeming quality. It’s just a shame he’s such a pussy. He’s also the world’s biggest U. of Texas fanboy. Christ, send the guy a topless photo of Dolt McCoy and he’ll have his second favorite piece of paraphernalia, second only to the afore mentioned autographed picture of me.
Ryno, do you jerk off every night, thinking of UT? What a fucking homer. I hate homerism. I like to see the best team win and that will never change. I’d like my team to be the best team, of course. But, I don’t make irrational arguments to make myself feel like my team is the greatest. Dumbfuck Ryno would have you believe the Longhorns could take out the fucking Colts and the Saints.
Ryno, say ‘hi’ and congratulate your new dyke mayor for me. I’m sure she has more manhood and integrity than you or any of your faggot friends at GGU.
I cannot fucking believe they have Boise St. and TCU going at it. What a joke, and what a bunch of pussies, the BS BCS.
Aw, poor BCS… scared what would happen if Boise and TCU knocked off Cincy, Florida, Georgia Tech, or Iowa? Stupid bitches.
It’s so obvious why they did this. No matter what happens in this game, the BCS protects themselves. The loser of the game will now look bad because they lost to a mid-major. Meanwhile, the winner only beat a mid-major. Very fucking clever.
No one wants to see David fight David. We want David vs. Goliath. Only, the BCS is afraid to confront the fact that Goliath is Goliath in perception only, in old boy network, monopolistic perception. They don’t want the curtain pulled back so the country discovers that Boise and TCU could hold their own against ‘Bama, Texas, Florida, Cincy, Iowa, etc. I know with certainty that Boise could hold their own against Ala-fucking-bama. I do not hesitate to say that. I’m not saying they’d win, but they’d easily belong in the stadium with the Tide.
So, we learn that Tiger’s doing what any other guy who’s young, has game, and locked in a marriage does. Big fucking deal.
When will this farce called marriage end? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Two people can only have physical interest in each other for so long. Especially men, or at least those of us with confidence, we ache to screw something else not too long after having settled with one girl. It’s only the low self-esteem losers at ACB who are so desperate that they marry at age 23 who fall victim to the ridiculous fairly tale, that one finds a ’soul mate’ and lives ‘happily ever after’. They may as well be women. Actually, they’re even worse than some women, who have modernized and aren’t psychologically locked into anachronistic fairy tales.
Longterm sexual monogamy is just so fucking stupid and unrealistic. And when someone doesn’t live up to it, which is an enormous percentage of the population, we judge the person and not the idiotic conditions they’re living in? Stupid.
I love my family, sincerely. But, a man needs to fuck other women too. A woman will need to fuck other men. Big fucking deal.
Let’s all be thankful for this blog, hands down the greatest on the internet.
This blog is the most informative and entertaining. Try to name a blog that competes in either capacity. You can’t.
You’re welcome.
Unbelievably funny. I just ran into an absolute gem from Shawn D. Fool’s Goldman, written a couple weeks ago. This stupid fucking faggot is the epitome of ‘austerity mistaken for intelligence’. Dude acts and sounds so fucking professorial that it fools the dumb hicks at ACB. Meanwhile, he’s a shit mathematician and scientist. The fucking George Will of statfags:
Adam Dunn, a player at the center of much debate here over the years, is a great example of this. A few years ago many sabrmetric Cubs fans – including yours truly – wanted the Cubs to pursue Adam Dunn. We saw the eye-popping OBA (on-base average) and SLG (slugging average) numbers he posted year after year, and thought he would be a great fit for the Cubs’ lineup. Today, most statistically inclined Cubs fans no longer want Dunn in Chicago. Why? Our understanding of baseball has improved. It was once thought that defense contributes relatively little to the value of a player. Furthermore, the ability to determine how value defense had for individual players was poor, and thus relatively inaccessible to the scientific method. A tool was eventually developed (UZR, or ultimate zone rating) that allowed quantitative defensive analysis of players and opened the analysis of defense up to the scientific method. The tool invalidated the hypothesis that defense did not contribute much to a player’s value, particularly for extreme cases such as Dunn’s. Now that we have a reliable method of measuring defense, and can ascribe value to players based on that method, we can include it in our evaluation of the player. In short: we’re better at this evaluation thing than we were a few years ago, thanks to those that developed UZR and other defensive metrics.
Priceless. The absolute fucking nerve of these worthless fucking faggots.
Hi, I'm Shawn D. Fool's Goldman. Mercurial Outfielder and I are phony, idiot cousins!
Congrats to Joe Girardi. Always nice to see a former Cub having something significant to do with a World Series. Since we never see the Cubs in the World Series, it’s the best we can do.
Yankees/Phillies is exciting. I can’t remember a match-up in recent memory where both teams seemed so strong. 2001, maybe? I wouldn’t mind seeing a World Series as great as that one was.
